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Archive for the ‘Arts & Culture’ Category

BlakChek #13, Halloween Party:  Sure  smurf-halloween-costume

Ok, I know I have said white people like a lot of things, but white people really love Halloween!  While the majority of black people move on from their fond childhood memories of dressing up as ghouls, gobblins, super heroes, and princesses, white people stay committed to the Halloween tradition.  If you hang out or know any white people you will, without a doubt, be invited to a Halloween party. 

This year was no exception for me.  I received Halloween invites, request, etc from no less 50% of my white comrades.  Now in the past I have tried to ignore the majority of these request but due to my dedication for this site, I took one of my friends up on his offer.  The invite was the of the typical white variety of course mentioning some connotation of libations(alcohol).  In fact here it is, “My roommates & I are throwing another Halloween party. Be there. Be dressed! I’ll provide some of the basic party vittles, but I’d appreciate if people brought either food or drink to contribute!  It’s going to be ridiculous, and we’ll have live music – his band 10 Grey Tuesdays will play a set around 10 or 11 pm.”  Side-note:: What is the percentage of white males that are in “bands” of some type, 80 maybe 90%.  We’ll save that discussion for another post.

I began the night before the party handing out Halloween candy to the little ones and was promptly greeted by one little white kid who was like “Hey, you look like (Insert Football Player Name Here)!”  After snatching the bastard child’s bag I replied “Are you sure that’s your father, because you look a lot like the mailman?”  So then after the cops left… I was on my way to the party.  My costume was basic, I had a baseball cap, a baseball jersey, I’ll go as a baseball player.  Yes, I realize the irony, but that kid still deserved to get cursed out.

Arriving at the party I quickly realized that the Halloween party was similar to many other white party’s I had attended except for the fact that people were wearing costumes.  Bearpong was still played, their was a live band which was a stretch, and all in all just a lot of drinking and conversing.  I remember having a hour long argument about the differences between lamb, sheep, and goats?  In another conversation we discussed the evolution of man, and tried to understand the purpose of nipples on men.  Did we once have the ability to breast feed?  These are deep issues that must be discussed and white party’s often offer tremendous venues for doing such. 

All in all the party was harmless and I survived unscathed for the most part.  BlakChek approves of going to a Halloween Party with your white friends.

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BlakChek #11, Adjust your Air Condition:  No

If you hang out with white people long enough, eventually you may invite them to your home, which is totally fine.  However, it will be then when you will learn about another important difference between white people and black people.  White people like it cold, in fact on average 8-12 degrees colder on average than black people.  The average white person prefers to keep there thermostat firmly set in the 63-67 degree range, while the average black person prefers a range of 73-77 degrees(These facts are based solely on years of observation).

Why this discrepancy, you ask?  I believe these discrepancies came from adaptation, take a look at the regions in which we originate from.  White people hail from frigid places like Norway, Slovakia, Iceland, etc. and have the ability to live in the most remote frigid regions on earth.  Think about it, how many black people do you think have ever visited Antarctica?   Black people on the other hand hail from Africa and tend to prefer regions that are some what temperate.  So when you have your get together with your white and black friends what do you do?  Try to compromise by finding a nice medium, or maybe cater to your white friends by turning the thermostat down to their appropriate range?  I say no to both, not because I am trying to be mean to my white comrades, but more so for the fact that I have to adapt to white temperatures on a daily basis.  Think about it, the mall, stores, movie theaters, restaurants, office buildings, your job, everywhere you go on a daily basis caters to the white temperature range.  I often sit in my room late at night and wonder what stores are like in predominantly black countries, now I got you thinking… 

Bottom line, since we have to live with white temperatures on a daily basis through all walks of life, I think it’s only fair that our white friends return the favor when they are in our homes.  With that said, BlakChek does not approve adjusting your Air Condition for your white friends comfort.

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BlakChek #5, Voting: Absolutely

BlakChek emphatically approves voting.

Voting Rumors and Myths…

http://truth.voteforchange.com/

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