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Archive for the ‘Food & Drink’ Category

BlakChek #10, go to a Bar:  Maybe

It’s not many things on earth that white people love more than a good bar, and eventually your white friends will ask you to tag along.  Black people usually prefer night clubs over bars primarily because they offer an opportunity to dance.  For white people, a bar is essentially the mecca, offering a place for meeting potential mates, networking, live music, and good drinks.  When you first enter a white bar you may be taken back by a few things.  First off if you are like me you’ll be astonished by the way white people can have deep, impactful discussions about everything from world politics to space exploration in such a loud environment.  Just the noise of all the conversations alone will seem ridiculous, not to mention the alternative local band playing in the back.  Secondly, you’ll wonder in amazement how people seem to go from conversation to conversation in a similar way that we may navigate a dance floor.  I mean, is this really like Cheers, does everyone know your name?  It’s amazing.

Depending on the bar you may an wide array of white activities, including body shots, women dancing on the bar, drunken altercations, and a couple of guys trying to pick up chicks by showing off their Golden Tee skills. I know these things all may seem scary at first but hang in there, you’ll start having a little bit more fun after your first drink.  As for drinks, you’ll be tempted to get your usual club favorite, like a Crown and Coke, Bacardi, Patron, or whatever drink the rappers are promoting this week but try to fight this urge.  As the saying goes, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do…”  Instead opt for something a little more white, but yet not too commercial.  Many black people will jump on the basic white brands like Bud Lite or Miller Lite to attempt to fit in, this is a classic mistake.  Instead opt for a more sophisticated brew like Yuengling, Samuel Adams, or whatever local micro brew they have on tap.  If you’re feeling really adventurous go for a Jaeger Bomb, trust me your white friends will know this classic concoction.  Fact: White people actually learn what Jaeger Bombs are before they learn how to read.  My personal favorite drink in a white bar is a Red Stripe, you know from the famous “Hooray Beer” ads.  A good Red Stripe allows me to stay true to my blackness while at the same time enjoying a good time out with friends.

A couple of warnings about things that may take you off guard.  First off if you are one of the only 2 or 3 black people in the bar it is inevitable for a white guy to come up and say something like the following.  “Hey bro, how’s it going, has anyone ever told you look just like (Insert Standard Black Athlete, Actor, etc.)”  Now you could get mad and punch this guy in the face but that would ruin your night.  Instead take a few minutes to educate your new white acquaintance, because often times they simply don’t understand that their comment could have gotten them potentially knocked out.  In their guilt for their recent comment and 200 years of oppression they will often buy your drinks for the rest of the night.

Secondly beware of the white friends/coworkers/classmates you came with.  The bar is a white person’s favorite place to make a move and if you are not careful after a few drinks your white coworker may attempt to tongue you down seemingly out of the blue.  It has happened, please be careful.  Black women need to be especially careful, because even your white female coworkers may try to include you in their amateur “Girls Gone Wild” activities.

With that said, BlakChek cautiously approves going to the bar with your white friends, coworkers, and classmates.

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BlakChek #1, Eat Rare Steak: Maybe

So here I was in a local restaurant with a group of coworkers after a late meeting.  What could go wrong, we were, after all just grabbing a bite to eat before going our separate ways.  No need to look at the menu, I knew what I wanted before I stepped foot in the place since it was a local favorite.  When the waitress came to take our orders my white coworkers ordered there dishes and then came my turn.  “I’ll take the sirloin with mashed potatoes and broccoli”  Then came the standard response from the waitress, “How would you like your steak done sir?”  I promptly and loudly uttered “Well Done!”  Little did I know that these two little words would spark a controversy which consumed the rest of the nights conversation.

Growing up in a black family I was taught to always thoroughly cook any meat.  I was told that if I didn’t I would face certain sickness, loss of limbs,  and possible death.  This constant fear stayed with me into my early adulthood making me strictly oppose any steak that was less than burnt.  Some cooks/chefs tried there best to violate my virgin palette by attempting to send me steaks that were medium well vs. well done.  These steaks were promptly sent back to the kitchen for further burning.  At the time I did not realize the gift these individuals were trying to give me, I was so naive, but I digress…

So anyways, back to the dinner.  After getting berated for a solid 30 minutes by five white coworkers our food finally arrived.  I quickly jumped into my well done steak and poured A1 sauce all over it, another act that was quickly ridiculed.  At this point I was fed up, I had two options; a) Punch all of my coworkers in the face or b) Try a piece of my coworkers medium steak.   Although option (A) was appealing at the time, it had its downsides.  First off 3 of the 5 coworkers were women, I could get fired, or I could get arrested.  Maybe I should go for option (B). 

As I picked up the visibly pink steak on my fork I had flashbacks of my mothers stern lessons and for a split second option A popped up in my mind again.  I finally took my first bite, and was instantly barraged by an onslaught of flavor the likes of which my tastebuds had never seen.  It was truly incredible, the steak was juicy, flavorful, and to be quite frank, the bomb.  I hated to admit it, but on this issue my white friends were right. 

So as far as eating a rare steak goes, hold your horses, or better yet your cows.  Take it slow, first try medium well, then medium, and if your adventurous you can go for medium rare.  I personally stopped at medium, don’t get crazy.  So as a final verdict, BlakChek approves medium and medium well steaks.  If you go for medium rare or rare, sorry, but your on your own.

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