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Archive for the ‘General’ Category

BlakChek #11, Adjust your Air Condition:  No

If you hang out with white people long enough, eventually you may invite them to your home, which is totally fine.  However, it will be then when you will learn about another important difference between white people and black people.  White people like it cold, in fact on average 8-12 degrees colder on average than black people.  The average white person prefers to keep there thermostat firmly set in the 63-67 degree range, while the average black person prefers a range of 73-77 degrees(These facts are based solely on years of observation).

Why this discrepancy, you ask?  I believe these discrepancies came from adaptation, take a look at the regions in which we originate from.  White people hail from frigid places like Norway, Slovakia, Iceland, etc. and have the ability to live in the most remote frigid regions on earth.  Think about it, how many black people do you think have ever visited Antarctica?   Black people on the other hand hail from Africa and tend to prefer regions that are some what temperate.  So when you have your get together with your white and black friends what do you do?  Try to compromise by finding a nice medium, or maybe cater to your white friends by turning the thermostat down to their appropriate range?  I say no to both, not because I am trying to be mean to my white comrades, but more so for the fact that I have to adapt to white temperatures on a daily basis.  Think about it, the mall, stores, movie theaters, restaurants, office buildings, your job, everywhere you go on a daily basis caters to the white temperature range.  I often sit in my room late at night and wonder what stores are like in predominantly black countries, now I got you thinking… 

Bottom line, since we have to live with white temperatures on a daily basis through all walks of life, I think it’s only fair that our white friends return the favor when they are in our homes.  With that said, BlakChek does not approve adjusting your Air Condition for your white friends comfort.

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BlakChek #8, Play paintball: Maybe

When my white coworkers confronted me with the option of going to play paintball I didn’t know what to think.  I mean, from what I had seen on TV and the Internet, paintball looked like a fun, harmless activity.  Why not, I said, let’s give it a shot, no pun intended, no really.  You gotta amire the fact when white people do something new they go all in.  I’m talking camouflage, combat boots, compasses, canteens, and GPS equipment .  At work I walked up to a friends desk to find him looking at a paintball area map and plotting strategies and techniques.  Is it really that serious?  To be honest I bought some basic camo for the sole purpose of not standing out like a moose in Sarah Palin’s yard.

After brief instructions at the paintball field we were on our way.  The place was over the top, it had bunkers, forts, barricades, etc.  all of which made almost brought my white friends to tears.  White people find joy in the most basic of things, an admirable trait.  So here we were in our first competition, our team which was composed mostly of first-timers against the other team which included the paintball parks owners and kids who were like Navy seals.   The first task was to rush their fort and capture the flag.  As we were walking through the forest I took my first shot right in the @$$ by a sniper hiding in the bushes.  I have a decent tolerance for pain but I’m not going to lie that hit hurt!  I was like what the… from that point on my whole paintball mindset changed. 

After a decent walk through the Vietnam-like booby-trapped forest we made it to the clearing where the fort was at.  My white friend who was acting as leader because he had been paint-balling a whopping 3 times comes up with the “great” idea of rushing the fort.  “Some of us might not make it, it may hurt, we may get hit in the neck (the most vulnerable exposed body part), but if the group keeps moving I think there’s a slight chance we’ll make it.”  Surprisingly the flag seemed to be barely guarded, as we scouted we only saw 2 Tango’s standing guard upon the fort.   Even though the fort which was raised about 10 feet off the ground gave the enemy a great tactical advantage we still felt we could take the few guards on.  As we made our charge through the trenches that led up to the fort I noticed we had been set up in the first way.  I looked up at the fort again to see what seemed like the majority of enemy with their guns pointed at us.  I began to see my friends getting picked off left and right.  It was horrible, guys were getting shot in the neck, chest, even head.  Even to this day I still hear their screams when I sleep.  In the heat of the battle I had a critical decision to make: Do I continue on with the mission, and risk being shot point blank range in the neck?  Or do abandon my troop and save myself the pain and agony?  Point blank, I ran, I ran as fast as I could, I ran until I couldn’t hear the shots any more, I ran until I couldn’t hear the screams anymore, I ran…  

Yes I ran in that particular case but all in all I had a good time the rest of the day playing paintball.  However, I changed my tactics opting to lay low and pick off passing enemies rather than rushing into chaos.  With that said BlakChek cautiously approves playing paintball. 

One Disclaimer:  Paint-balls hurt like hell, especially close range, wear long sleeve shirts and pants, the more padding the better.  Thus, I would also suggest going in the fall due, since its cooler.  Now your white friends are going to try to act cool by wearing t-shirts and possibly shorts.  Don’t do it unless you want to end up like the idiots in the above pictures.

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BlakChek #5, Voting: Absolutely

BlakChek emphatically approves voting.

Voting Rumors and Myths…

http://truth.voteforchange.com/

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BlakChek #3, Shower without washcloth: No

It’s a little know fact in the black community that white people don’t use washcloths.  Sure they have them but strictly for decorative purposes only.  White people instead use their bar of soap as if it is a washcloth, rubbing it over their entire body through cracks and crevices.  Some use body-wash and still choose to opt out of using a loofa, instead choosing to use their hands to spread the soap over their entire body.  The reason being white people love to lather, they put the soap everywhere, often even in their hair.  Side-note: white people wash their hair everyday, and are often shocked to hear that we don’t.  Hence the popularity of the new overhead shower units found in many of the new upper scale homes. 

Black people need a good washcloth, loofa, or something in order to take a comfortable shower.  I don’t know why or how this difference in shower tactics developed, but they do exist.  For my readers, I sucked it up and took showers for 3 days straight without the use of a washcloth.  First off, I didn’t like it, it’s hard to explain, basically its just straight uncomfortable.  Just to give you a picture, think about trying to wash your ears, between your toes, or your how should I put this…  “Gluteous Maximus” with your hands or a bar of soap. 

So as a final verdict, BlakChek does not approve showering without a washcloth.  So make sure to bring a washcloth the next time your invited to spend the night at a white friends house.  Don’t worry this white activity isn’t to dangerous so give it a shot and make your own opinion.  Be sure to leave comments on your findings.

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Don’t Fear, BlakChek is Here!!

We all have been there, you know when your white friends or coworkers ask you partake in a activity that is outside your normal comfort zone.  You tell the friend, let me get back to you, while you feverishly scour the web for reviews and point of views of people who have done the activity before.  However, the problem is the majority of these reviews are from other white people.  Listen to me, in fact write this down, WHITE PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT and the faster you come to this realization the safer you and your family will be.  True, some of the activities that white people do are not really that bad, in fact some are actually enjoyable.  It is my job to inform you of the do’s and dont’s when it comes to these white activities.  In every blog I’ll strive to give you honest opinions based on personal experiences and testimonies of actual black people who have been there.  Armed with this information you can make a more informed decision the next time you or a family member are asked to participate in a white activity.

Again, for your safety, never participate in your white friends activities without first checking BlakChek first!

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